I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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