can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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