i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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