When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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