So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
