worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
