just come out here and I will go home with you...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
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she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
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Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm like, not good at living.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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