that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
