it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
