im about as happy as oj after his trial
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
