I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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