I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
