1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
