I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
