i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
