I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have tasted many bathrooms
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
