My nipple is on Facebook.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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