Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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