If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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