Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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