epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
