i permit you to call me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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