Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
