I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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