i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
