I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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