just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
