Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
