she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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