I skipped work to stalk him.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
