She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
