Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
