I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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