I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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