sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
