so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize