But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
