Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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