I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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