Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize