Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.