sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
