It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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