Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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