My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize