If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
