Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
