What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
