; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
