Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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