"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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