dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
