i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize