I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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