bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize