I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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