I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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