May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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